“You are going to do what?!” That is the typical reaction I received two years ago when my wife and I initially decided that she would continue working while I stayed home with our new baby boy. The difference in our salaries was so large that it really wasn’t even worth discussing. Within two months there I was alone with a newborn while my wife went off to work…. My friends thought I was crazy.
One interesting part of this set up has been the reactions of complete strangers to our living situation. Without even asking for any opinions, typically both my wife and I get them. Apparently I should feel pretty bad about “letting” my wife have the only job… she in turn should feel just awful that (as a mother) she leaves her small children each day. Luckily for us, what we actually have is this amazing understanding and compassion about the other person’s rough day. She knows how hard it is to stay at home and take care of two kids all day. I know how hard it is to leave the house and go to work everyday. Any venting on either side is always met with empathetic ears.
Not that I don’t have my days! Certainly the hardest part for me has been the lure of all of the electronic temptations floating about our house… from laptops, desktops, iPads, smart phones, and of course the TV, I am never at a loss if I would like to disengage and catch up on some scores. What I have learned though is that when Brayden is given all of my attention, whether it is playing pretend in his tent, pushing cars with him outside, building towers upon towers of blocks, or just sitting next to him while he watches Disney and has a snack, he is the most compliant boy! After spending all of Noah’s nap giving Brayden my undivided attention, he really has no trouble playing by himself while I attend to Noah’s needs. He trusts that when I am finished, he will get his fill of dad’s time and love.
With any 2 year old, we obviously have tantrums. But for every bad day, we have at least 10 good days to follow. Approximately 60% of this, I credit to my wife. While most think of her as a fellow new mom of two, she actually is a Behavior Analyst with 14 years of experience dealing with everything new parents have to deal with on a daily basis! She trains parents to help their children to decrease tantrums/hitting, learn how to talk, follow instructions the first time they are asked, and basically anything else you can think of! The other 40% then, is me swallowing my pride and following her advice exactly. I now have seen it in action with our boys so it is no longer even difficult to listen…. I follow her advice and the problem gets better instead of bigger.
Although it has been said many times…. You really don’t get these early years back. At 2 years old and 7 months old, I have to say that those boys are my best friends. I wouldn’t trade in my job for anything and I feel blessed that we are able to raise our children this way… but we are definitely only having two!!!
Are you a stay-at-home dad (SAHD)? Have you ever thought about trying it?
John Yakich is a phenomenal SAHD who has turned their garage into an amazing playroom for their energetic boys. To connect with him, you can email him at "jlyakich0707@gmail.com"
Are you a stay-at-home dad (SAHD)? Have you ever thought about trying it?
John Yakich is a phenomenal SAHD who has turned their garage into an amazing playroom for their energetic boys. To connect with him, you can email him at "jlyakich0707@gmail.com"
I have a 6-month-old daughter and a 29-month-old son. I was home with my son for a year and a half. And I am now starting my SAHD adventure with two kids, my wife having recently returned to work from her 18 week maternity leave.
ReplyDeleteYesterday was a challenge as my daughter kept waking up from her afternoon nap every half hour, and I kept putting her back to sleep. My son was SO patient, patting her on the back, staying quiet, and trying to keep himself entertained. Eventually, I gave up trying to get her back to sleep. I had to feed her and put her on the floor to play so that I could get my son down for his nap, much belated by then. Unfortunately, our window of opportunity for playtime had passed.